"Come Home"

 "All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson  

I apologize for the server being down! I felt so disconnected for a while but I had some issues with my domain name but now all is good. (Clearly, because you can see this message) And I alas, have some news to share. Both good and not so good but all mostly good.
Let me begin by stating the wonderful news that Juan will be coming to my college in the fall. He got accepted into the music program so he will be joining my journey in person and I definitely couldn't be more proud of him. Secondly, the buzz about weddings has begun. Here is the stinky news: Miley Cyrus is engaged. Before me. I know I shouldn't give a rat's ass. Partially because I know in the celebrity world, this is all just well played tactics but it hit me how actually trumped I am to not be engaged! Or correction. I'm trumped at myself because I have three voices in my head: The whiny little girl wondering whether he's ever going to commit to me, the feminist self that wants to puke at the idea that I'm actually talking about getting engaged.
Then comes the wonderful news, news that actually added and got better as this post sat in drafts and now having returned, it comes with better days and better news.
First off, the ever wonderful Brian (the person who keeps this blog alive and provides me with honest, loving sanity) is engaged! He and his fiancee Paul are the most adorable couple and I wish them nothing but bliss and happiness in their upcoming nuptials.(And yes Bri, I am one of your few girlfriends but I am absolutely ecstatic for you!)
As I'm sure you can tell, JJ and I have had some issues, and they've gotten pretty bad. Okay, bad is an understatement. Our relationship had hit a major crack. Distance has become one of the biggest burdens on our relationship as well as on me. Things had gotten blurry, I'd lost sight of not only myself but how much he loved me. I'd gone in with the intent of stopping my misery and breaking it off, for good. The thought sickened me more than I'd like to admit, but love was becoming a poison I couldn't settle in my stomach anymore. Then came the massive fight I was so worried about. Everything came out in the open but I discovered that he too, was feeling as lost and trapped as I was. And though it wasn't an easy fix, it was a step towards fixing things.
If I don't have enough proof that I have an amazing boyfriend, this should suffice. He came a couple of days later and surprised me by getting the entire weekend off... and further surprised me by taking me on an impromptu vacation to the beach for the whole weekend! For the first time, we took off on an actual vacation to the coastline. We went to the flea market, had an ice cream sundae in a little shop by the beach and actually sat by the shoreline.

Us behind the USS Lexington!

After a wonderful weekend full of catching up and bonding, we seemingly patched up may things. And we were closer than ever. We honestly needed a weekend to ourselves away from everything. By the time we drove home, we were singing along and talking about our goals, our future apartment and our dog, Roscoe (and yes, we got a dog. lol)

He put an IOU on it! :)

Then he proceeded to surprise me... with a promise ring.
This awesome bling hasn't left my finger since.
Then, the week after, we got even better news. After months of searching and my incessant panicking and nightmares of being homeless we finally found an apartment and put our deposit down. We get the keys next week and I couldn't be more thrilled! While it seems like things are finally locking in, I have quite a while to go. My anxiety isn't getting much better and well, I'm not getting much help from people I would appreciate helping either. But this is a start and pretty soon, he'll be coming home. Our home. ♥