"Semi-Charmed Life"

“Some people are settling down, some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”- Carrie Bradshaw

Last night, I had a bit of a Carrie Bradshaw type of personal revelation. Considering that it's one I didn't seek willingly, it should have some significance into my life.
Have you ever wondered why there's a big number of Mr. Wrongs, hellbent on making you miserable? What if you never find Mr. Right? What if he vacated the premises with that hoochie you refused to be?
Love and it's insane ups and downs can seriously make a person wonder what makes us so compelled to love and be loved in the first place. My Friday night brought me to this revelation. When I get time off, I try and go to a hockey game and my aunt got sick this weekend so suddenly I went from going to a hockey game to having no plans at all. I for some reason ended up watching Sex and the City, that episode where Samantha discovers Smith Jerrod, Carrie is dating Berger and Charlotte becomes engaged to her divorce lawyer. I noticed how amazingly awesome Berger really was and how although I'm a Mr. Big fan, I would have totally dated a guy like Berger. And then after a somewhat quiet dinner and sleep, I was awoken by my first ex, a guy I ended up being on and off again with for most of my high school career. We started talking and for some reason he inquired as to why I was single. He's always referred to me as the girl that got away and the one he was never able to catch up to. It made me think about how much I really wanted in someone and how I really wasn't getting it.
I'm here trying something casual with no expectations: just meeting with someone when I want to talk and same with him. I know he wants nothing serious. His friends don't know about me and I'm pretty sure this is going nowhere. My friends don't know either and I'm more than sure they'll throw a fit too because I'll end up hearing, as I usually do, that I deserve better and deserve someone who's going to commit to me. And I know I do but don't we all deserve things we never get and get things we don't deserve.
We deserve to get that A but get a B while that person who crammed at the last minute got an A+. We get the single nights of making dinner for one when the vapid girls with no hope get the great guy and treat their men like crap. I suppose maybe I'm settling when I could find something better but just where is this better I've heard so much about and just exactly what is it?
I find myself questioning love and it's motives now, especially since our creative director picked Love as the theme for our Glee Club's semester showcase (which by the way is the single most exciting and worrisome thing on my mind for this semester. If I can't pull this off, I'm doomed but if I can, I'll be a legend.
I just have to put my best effort forward and hope that this, unlike my love life and my numerous things WRONG with life at the moment works out for the better.
Life isn't life without love and why that's so, I don't know. But it's worth a shot trying to find out.

"Brighter Than Sunshine"

"Effective leadership is putting first things first. Effective management is discipline, carrying it out."

- Stephen Covey

As of late, things have started to look brighter. Literally.
After the Arctic chill from the last two weeks, this week has been filled with sunny, Summer filled days. The kind of days I can wear shorts and flip flops with and let my hair flutter in the breeze. In other words, feel good weather!
I'm actually finding excuses to come outside and bask in the sunlight. I seriously missed being out in warmth and sunglasses and having sunlight in my hair. It reminds me of better times and things are kind of looking up I suppose, for me at least.
It's safe to say that right now, Glee Club is taking up all my time and possibly more focus than anything but it's something I am definitely excited about. My officer board is nothing short of amazing and Jess and I (as officers for our school's Quidditch team-yes, you read that right- have clicked with everyone) It seems like maybe I'm finally getting the family feeling I always wanted. Doing Glee Club and being seen as a leader keeps me motivated. I'm already waist deep in my Glee Club and hope Maroon Rhapsody (that's our stage name) can really pull this off.
I'll be honest. I'm tired and I'm wearing thin. So many places to be done and so many things to be things to be done and places to see. Almost every waking moment is kept up to doing schoolwork and homework and rehearsals. But slowly and surely, I'm getting a schedule together.
Glee is saving me right now. I haven't been this excited about anything in a very long time. And it's showing. The weather's getting better. My life is looking up and hopefully I'll be on a schedule. :)

"Song for the Dumped"

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far." 
-Marilyn Monroe 

I've survived the Arctic blast, ladies and gents. THANK GOODNESS!

Sorry it's been a while but considering I've been off since last Thursday because of freezing temperatures (and a power outage, and other shenanigans) I've been set back a few days. Might I say now, that while I'm caught up that I had quite an eventful weekend which involved
1) Me working a few gigs.
2)Going clubbing.
3)More male frustrations
4) Career optimism to totally overshadow another asshole
So, last week, I went and sang a few gigs and earned myself a nice paycheck, to which I went to enjoy right afterward when one of my friends invited me to go to a club. Now let it be noted that I rarely go clubbing, and if it's any indication, when I do, something crazy happens. This was no exception. I went right out of work and partied... until 2:30 AM when the club closed. And so the guys I know who were hosting the party decided to have an after party. And I went and there I met a guy. Simply put, player alert. He was searching for food in a closed kitchen and there was no way I was firing things up so he got angry and started blowing me off. I'm better off without him anyways. And this was immediately overshadowed by my latest project. Ladies and Gents, I'm now President of the TAMIU Glee Club and man was it a shock.But what's even more a shock? I'm doing well!
I have yet to have any issues. My officer board is AMAZING, and my auditions went smoothly.
I am loving where I'm going with this Glee Club. :)

Which brings me to this agonizing, sickening and rotten wonderful day that is Valentine's Day. I'm not too thrilled about it to be honest but I still decided to get out of bed (even if it was at the last minute) and be somewhat cheerful. But between you and me, I am a little crestfallen when I check the door of my dorm room every five minutes and don't see Valentine's taped to it, like other people but it's one day out of the year so I can't get too fussed over it. So for now I'll settle with having Darren Criss as my display picture on Facebook (and pretending he's my Valentine) and I'll suck it up. My Glee officers (who are single) want to go out and enjoy a day among friends and what's wrong with that?

So happy Valentine's Day, folks. Hope you're a little more optimistic than I am. :)
(and I'll make up my writing absence soon once Glee and my schoolwork settle down.)

"Blackout"

"I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human. "

-David Bowie

This was my status this morning on Facebook and trust me, it was more than accurate. Let me note that I was utterly irritated when the power went zap, especially because I was applying eyeliner in the dark, and a Groucho Marx mustache is not exactly pleasant to have in the morning and it's horrible to try and get rid of in the dark. I later discovered school got canceled so I carried my good looking, dressed for nothing self back to bed and got a call from my aunt who picked me up from my dorm with no power (but running water, which was odd, seeing as I had to pee in the dark) and thus, 3 hours later, my aunt's nanny came to get me

So now I'm eating mozzarella cheese after having been sprawled in my aunt's house with a complaining cousin who was apparently sick but has done nothing but gripe (and not look sick) for the last few hours.

There are rumors of potential snowfall but where I live, I have more chances of running into Elton John singing Miley Cyrus songs in front of City Hall than even seeing a flake of snow so I'm not holding out.

Life goes on and maybe I was a bit irked that I had to wake up early but I may as well enjoy it.

Pretty soon, it's gonna be back to flip flops and shorts and ponytails. Right now I'm getting good use of my boots and my beret and my famous purple sweater. When I get back to my room, hot chocolate is calling me... and Mark will be here today!

This is a great start to February. The groundhog predicted an early spring and yet class got canceled because South Texas can't handle cold weather. I get up and put my girly nature to good use (only to have my next door neighbor see me with a roller in my hair) and to be seen more by my sick baby cousin.

When it all comes down to it, it's unorthodox and clearly not working out but either way, it's perfect.