"I'll Stand by You"

Okay so maybe after years of speculating and wishing and hoping and counting down the days of when I could leave this town, things look a little different now that I'm on the other extreme of the spectrum.
My mom and I got into another fight today, specifically about the same issues. How I didn't get to go to Missouri because of money, how it's all my fault and basically all the anger issues we usually have with each other. She feels as though I'm dissatisfied with her and I'm certain that I'll never meet up to her high expectations and her serious frustrations with me. It's partially why I gave up trying my senior year in high school. I didn't care anymore... it was a lost cause because the criticism really didn't end. And now that I have literally days instead of months, we're at each others wits end with each other. She seems to think that I'm blaming her for what happened and my hopes and dreams falling apart. I'm frustrated with my parents and I hate how I'm not good enough for my parents.
You know for years, I've had to deal with alot of things like criticism and public opinion. But the one thing I've always said was that people can talk all they want and in the end they'll never be at my house where I can clear my thoughts but it's frustrating when my mother and I can't settle our differences and we seems to be nagging and gnawing away at each other. To have lived with someone who I will never see eye to eye with and who doesn't bother to see eye to eye with me not only frustrates me but doesn't give me anywhere to outreach. Sometimes I feel like my mom doesn't get me and keeps her distance because she doesn't.
Things were so different when I was little. We were insepearable and now... you could probably put the Great Wall of China between us and still have room. I can't believe this is our relationship even now with a few days left until I leave for college this is what has become of me and my mom and maybe for once I'd like to have someone on my side