"Yeah the truth is... that I miss you so."

It's starting to hit me how many people I've affected and just exactly what my impact was on the people I know.
Juan did something amazing for me today that I don't think he realizes really impacted me.
He played me "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" on the guitar and explained that he chose that song because what happened to me with Missouri was just like what happened with Glee and how they lost at Regionals after coming so far. He wanted me to know that everyone still had great faith in me no matter where I went.
As soon as he started singing, I started crying. So many emotions ran through my mind when Juan played that song for me.
People are sad to see me go, something I never thought I would see in my life but in spite of so much love, I feel empty.
Why?
Because the one thing I've always wanted more than anything was to have someone sing to me and put the care and time into learning a song for me. To me, that's the most thoughtful gesture a person can do because music is eternal and sharing it with someone means they truly mean something. And when Juan sang for me, I felt so many things. He's an amazing best friend and I'm grateful to have him by my side, an honorary brother.
But this is bittersweet.
The only person who ever knew that I wanted someone to sing to me was David. He knows me so well yet seems to either be obtuse or in denial. He's starting to ask me why I even call around the same time at night if we only end up with the same familiar awkward silences and he always complains about how I listen to Coldplay so much.
Maybe if he listened to the words behind the same Coldplay song I listen to that says exactly what I want to say to him every night but don't have the courage to do so then he would understand that silence is self explanatory.
Like I said, music is eternal and I've learned that it can inspire gratitude, love and loneliness.
Maybe if he listened, he'd know.
But you know, at least I have friends who love me, loved me enough to pick me up and take care of me when he took off. Juan was there and he still is. I can't say that about David.
He's my best friend through all.
David? Still hurts but I have to move on past that.

Juan asked me: "Are you gonna be okay?"
My response?
"Yeah. I always am in the end."

Why can't David believe in me as much as my friends do?

Juan, thank you for being there when he's not. I promise. I'll get better soon. I'll keep trying.
Juan, thank you for everything. (: