"Flight Risk With a Fear of Fallin'"

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. "

-Buddha

Last night, I went to a hockey game with my aunt and her family for my cousin's 12th birthday. I guess that's one of the nice things about coming to where my family lives for college. Even if I live far from my parents, family is always around. Personally, I'm one of those people who loves hockey for the main reason that it's one of the few sports I actually understand. It's not like football with 40 billion penalties and rules and lines. Hockey is simple. A puck moves back and forth. You score by moving the puck into the net. Nothing difficult about that. Add in the difficulty of moving around on ice, the fights on ice, the crowd adrenaline and a bunch of good looking guys and I'm sold on watching. I'm also blessed to live in a town that actually has a hockey team so this made for a perfect outing. I borrowed my cousin's jersey, we ate at Red Lobster then came to the game.

For the first time in years, I caught up with an old friend from kindergarten who happens to work at the arena in the camera crew. He and I haven't seen each other in ten years and so when I went to the game, I stopped by to say hi and kind of catch up. Then after the game, my cousin and I went ice skating, my new secret thrill.

You see, when I was a Freshman in high school my aunt took me to my first hockey game. At first my skates didn't fit right and I kept wobbling all over the ice. Then after trading my skates for something that fit better, I noticed the difference and I got confidence. I skated faster but that confidence came to bite me in the ass when one wrong turn landed me in a wall. Since then, I hadn't bothered to get back on the ice. The crash resulted in a badly sprained ankle that took months to heal, a whole bunch of scratches and a very bruised personal sense of pride. It's only been up until now that I've set foot on the ice again.

I got back on the ice for the first time two weeks ago and I was terrified. I made sure to get skates that fit perfectly and was pretty much glued to the wall. But then I let go and slowly started moving. I would freak out every inch and keep leaning for the wall but never toppled over. That first time back on the ice I moved

at my own pace and even though my blade got caught on the ice every so often, each stumble, though it threatened to knock me down just moved me forward. And thus, it made yesterday much easier.

So I pretty much bumped into quite a few hockey players who were on the ice after the game (one saw me almost slam into a wall and another actually saved me from going facefirst into the ice, to be specific) but I stayed away from the wall. The thrill of feeling the cold and the empowerment of moving on my own was not only liberating but mentally soothing. It's the closest to feeling like I'm flying and I love it. Maybe someday I'll share my secret place of peace and solace... the place I haven't found in a long time that hasn't been taken away from me. Hopefully as time passes, I can get better at my skating... and not attack a professional hockey player while I'm at it. :)

While I'm terrified of falling, it's worth it to get the joy of soaring on your own... this concept could apply to alot of things.

First time back on the ice (:

One of the hockey players I bumped into,

Jarred Mohr, Defenseman for the Laredo Bucks (: